


Who We Are

by keiththepaladin



Category: Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: @sarosenna on tumblr is essentially editing the whole thing so shoutout to her, AU, Angst, F/M, and again bc los, but it has a lot of characters, canon blew some holes in this so i had to replot it, i dont know where this is going, ohmygod so much angst, theres torture at the beginning but its not explicitly described
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-20 06:54:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5995813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keiththepaladin/pseuds/keiththepaladin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After their empire was overthrown by a neighboring one, Julian Blackthorn, ex-prince, has been imprisoned. When he is rescued by the rebels, and their masked leader, he joins them in hopes of finding his family. Blackstairs AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> And I've started another multichapter fanfic! I really don't know where this one is going, so this'll be an adventure for me as well. (Also, my first major AU! Exciting!)

Julian Blackthorn could taste two things. One was the metallic taste of his own blood, which was a sign of his never ending torture. The other was salt. Either from the walls around him, or his own tears, that he could not tell.

It had been over a year since he had been imprisoned after the uprising and invasion. For over a year had he been sitting in a damp cell, with a musty smell and no light. For over a year had he been abused for being born who he was.

He slumped lower against the wall, putting strain against the shackles in his wrists. It had been a year, and he didn’t know how long he had left.

Julian remembered the last thing his older half-brother, Mark had said to him; _Remember, Jules. It will be okay. I promise you, you’ll be okay._

Mark had lied. He wasn’t okay. And he wasn’t sure if the rest of his family were okay, either. He hadn’t heard anything about them in over a year.

For all he knew, they were all dead.

His father, Andrew, who had the kindest smile. Who always saw the best in people, no matter who they were.

His mother, Eleanor, who was nurturing and kind. Who had never said anything cruel to anyone.

His older half-sister, Helen, who had a heart of pure gold, and a brilliant smile on her face.

His older half-brother, Mark, who was more protective than anyone he had ever met, with a dry sense of humour and a sharp tongue that always managed to irritate people (even if Jules thought of him as his hero).

His younger sister Livia, who was fierce in protecting everyone around her, whose emotions were always hidden behind a steely face.

His younger brother, and Livia’s twin, Tiberius, who’s grey and calculating eyes could solve even the trickiest of problems.

It pained Julian to think of them all, but it had become a nightly routine. He wouldn’t let himself forget them. He pushed himself to go on, to name them all.

There was Drusilla, whose kindness seemed overwhelming at times, but always did mean the best for everyone.

And Octavian, the youngest, who was so small, and innocent. It hurt to think that something might have happened to him, even though he had never done anything wrong.

All because they had been born into nobility. All because of who they were.

Julian exhaled more of the musty air in a sigh, which came out sounding more like a sob. He would have thought he was used to this life by now.

It was then that something took Julian by surprise. There was an unusual amount of noise coming from outside his small cell. He raised his head, in attempt to hear what was happening beyond the locked door. He heard shouts and cries.

And he was scared. He could feel himself shaking, worried about what was to come.

Who was out there? What did they want? _What were they going to do?_

A loud crash sounded from right outside Julian’s eyes, and he felt himself gasp before holding his breath, not daring to let anybody hear him.

What if they were going to hurt him? What if they were bad people?

He shut his eyes, held his breath, and waited. And continued to wait, for what felt like forever.

Julian heard another crash from outside, and jumped, not expecting it. There was distinctive banging on his door, and Julian cowered against the back wall.

The noises continued, getting louder and louder. He could almost hear the door falling right off of its hinges.

The door creaked, and fell to the floor, and then a bright light entered the cell, some of the only light Julian had seen in years. It was blinding

All seemed to get hazy, then, and Julian could feel himself being pulled into darkness, right after he felt hands grabbing him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Julian finds out what's going on, and asks a lot of questions about it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT IS LATE BUT IT IS HERE. And I hope you have as much fun reading it as I had writing it!

Cortana never thought she'd have anything to do with Prince Julian Blackthorn. But here, in this life, she was going to.

He was lying in the examination room, eyelids fluttering, over a metal table. He wasn't the prince she had seen plastered around the country. There was a permanent frown on his face, and his cheeks had sunken in. Nothing like the princely figure that everyone believed they knew and loved. It almost hurt Cortana's heart to see it. A boy that had once been so beautiful and kind be reduced to nothing but battered skin and bones.

Cortana had always respected the royal family. They had always seemed so in-tune with their people, giving them all hope and happiness. They'd helf their kingdom at peace for Cortana's whole life.

It may have been a different time in Cortana's life, where she'd had a different name, and showed her true face, but she was going to be damned if she didn't bring those times back.

* * *

 

Julian awoke to bright lights, and the feeling of cold metal under him. His head was spinning, and all he wanted to do was to close his eyes and drift off into another sleep. Just as he was giving in to that urge, a voice from the other side of the room made him snap his eyes open again.

“Good morning over there, little prince.” It said. Julian couldn’t tell whether the voice was masculine or feminine, or whether the nickname was mocking him or not. He most certainly was not bothered to turn over or get up to look at the source of the voice.

But that did not matter, for whoever it was decided to approach him anyway. He could hear their heavy footsteps echo around the room. From the sounds they were making, he could guess that the floor was made of metal as well.

Jules wasn’t going to stand for it. He wasn’t going to let himself be intimidated by whoever was coming.  
As he internally chanted that to himself, he could hear them getting closer and closer.

When he heard them pull up next to him, he slightly craned his neck, so he could get a better look at them. The action sent a jolt of pain through his body which caused him to flinch. “Be careful, we don’t want you any more damaged then you already have been.” This time Julian could see that the voice belonged to a tall, and masked figure. Other than the full-face silver mask they wore, they were clad in all black. As Julian payed more attention to them, and noticed more details, he could make out that they were female.

“Where am I? Who are you?” As though something had been restraining it, all of his panic showed at once. As soon as the words left his mouth, he wished he hadn’t said anything at all. He had shown weakness in the face of a stranger.

“One question at a time, little prince.” That nickname again. It bothered Julian more each time he heard it. “You’re safe, I can promise you that. As for where you are? I can’t tell you that.” She seemed to contemplate her words before she spoke again; “I guess I can tell you that you’re in the infirmary of the rebellion base.”

“Rebellion? What rebellion?”

Julian felt like an idiot.

“I forgot you’ve been in the dark about everything for the past year. Figuratively and literally.” She said. “You can’t possibly think that a government full of tyrants is going to invade and people will just be okay with it? They’re slaughtering people, making everyone’s lives hell, and no one should stand for it.”

The longer she spoke on, Julian could hear more passion enter her otherwise-monotonous voice. He could only imagine that there was a reason that she was so motivated to do something.

He could use that to his advantage.

“But who are you?”

“I hardly see how that matters, little prince.”

Julian used whatever was left of his strength to push himself up into a sitting position, trying not to let the pain of his actions show on his face.

“If you know who I am, then I have the right to know who you are, and what you want.” He stated. He was not going to let himself be in the dark this time. He wanted to know what was happening, and if this person, or this rebellion, meant him any harm.

“I’ll put it simply for you. I founded, and currently lead this rebellion. And I’m going to do so until my final breath.”

Julian didn’t know what to say. On one hand, he wanted to get far away from here, to find out what was going on. But on the other, this person seemed rather interesting.

“But what do you want with me?”

“Why do you ask so many questions, little prince?”

“Perhaps it’s because I went from being imprisoned, to being kidnapped here, and I have no idea what’s going on!” Julian could feel more anger well up inside of him. It was the type of anger that made him want to yell at whoever was in front of him. He was frustrated, and the more he thought about his frustration, the angrier he got.

“Who ever said you were kidnapped? You can leave if you like. It won’t do you much good, you’ll just be caught and imprisoned again.”

“What do you want me to do, then? I’m sure you didn’t help me out of the goodness of your heart.”

“You’re right about that. I’ll keep you safe, but I need your help. Before we can do anything as a rebellion, we need more numbers. And I’m sure that more people could be convinced to join us, or fight with us, if they saw that the country’s darling, green-eyed prince, was on our side. So what do you say?”

Years of listening to his father at various courts had taught Julian to learn to negotiate. And he was not going to become the puppet to the rebellion without getting exactly what he wanted.

“On one more term.”

It seemed to take her a moment to register what he said. Though, that might have been Julian’s imagination.

“And what term would that be, little prince?”

“You need to help me find, and help the rest of my family.” Julian said those words with such certainty. If there was one thing he wanted in the world, it was to be with his family.

“Fine. I will help you with that. But not today, for you need to rest. In the morning, I’ll come back and you can ask the rest of your questions.”

Jules sighed in relief. There was hope of seeing his family again. He had help now.

As the masked woman was leaving, Jules called out again to get her attention.

“What should I call you?”

“I told you, no more questions until the morning.” And just as it looked like she was walking away, she uttered one more word.  
“Cortana.”

And with that, she left Julian alone with his thoughts. But this time, there was light.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Julian asks a lot of questions and makes some friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These updates are taking a long time and I apologize, but I hope this is good for something!

Julian awoke the next morning, a stiff feeling throughout his body.

Perhaps today they would find his family.

He sat up and slid to the other end of his makeshift bed, before stretching. He hadn’t felt this much freedom in his movement for as long as he could remember.  
As he stood up, the door opened, and the female from last night walked back into the room. Cortana, he recalled.

“Are you ready to go?” she asked. She was wearing the same thing as she had last time, but Julian was paying more attention to them. Her silvery mask had engravings all around it, in a pattern that he couldn’t make out from a distance.

“Go? Go where?” His voice was heavy with sleep.

“Well, little prince, you need to become accustomed to life around here, so I’m bringing it upon myself to show you around. Also, this isn’t quite a comfortable room, so we need to get you one of those. And food, of course.”

Julian perked up at the thought of eating something.

“And then we can find my family?” His thoughts, like always, reverted back to them almost straight away.

“We can try. But only after we get you settled.”

It wasn’t exactly a promise, but to Julian, it meant everything.

* * *

 

Julian followed Cortana as she rounded corners and pointed to rooms, saying things that Julian wasn’t listening to. He didn't care about that.

They were going to find his family. They were going to be reunited. No one had to be alone any more.

It was everything. The thought, I won't have to be alone anymore, was all he could think of. It was a hope, it was a dream, and it was the only thing in this situation that he could hold on to. It consumed him. True, it was an uncertainty, but this was a world of uncertainties. It wasn't impossible. He could draw strength from it, so he did. It was his light in the darkness. His family.

His thoughts were interrupted when she handed him a bundle of black clothes. The material was soft in his hands.

He looked to her as if to ask; what do I do with these?

Cortana scanned him with her eyes, which he could see in the light were brown. The type of brown where there were also rings of other shades, light and dark and some even golden. If the mask she wore didn’t intimidate him, he would have called her eyes beautiful.

“Wear them, perhaps. Unless you think your current attire is appropriate to be seen in?”

He looked down at himself, suddenly embarrassed by his own appearance. He was clad in torn grey pants and a shirt, which were fraying, and practically falling off of his body. He looked a mess, no doubt. He hadn't paid attention to his appearance. Now, he regretted it.

He looked back up at Cortana, not making eye contact. He could see her gesture to a door next to her with her arm.

"You can go in there. Though, don’t get comfortable. As soon as you’re done eating, you’re going straight to the medical wing. We need to make sure there’s been no permanent damage done to you, little prince.”

Julian sighed before slipping into the door that Cortana had shown him to. Without looking down at himself, he changed into what she had handed him. He was rather afraid to look, not knowing just how bad he’d look. At least he wouldn't be quite such the mess he'd been before, but that was nothing to console yourself with.

After he put on the clothes, and boots that were also provided, he decided it was worth the risk and looked to see what he was wearing. It was plain black, a soft material, and was quite loose on him. Julian couldn’t tell if they were loose because the clothes were big, or because he was too small for them. He looked away again, deciding that his weight wasn’t what he wanted to focus on at the current moment.

When he came back out, Cortana was still in the place that he had left her standing in, with one gloved hand on her hip, and the other hanging by her side.  
“Much better,” she commented, looking at him again. She started walking down the hallway again, as though she was in a rush. Julian almost broke into a run to keep up with her.

"Here is where you can go grab your food," she said, making direct eye contact with him. "Go in, and I’ll meet you back in the courtyard when you’re done. We have important matters to discuss.” She turned around, and walked away, leaving Julian standing alone in a hallway, not even giving him a chance to ask where the courtyard was.

He turned towards the door, and looked to see lots of faces staring back at him. They were silent, staring. He suddenly felt self-conscious about his own appearance, and looked back down the hall. But there was no one there. He took a step into the room, but could still feel everyone’s eyes on his. There were people who were young and old, tall and short, and of every appearance you could imagine.

And Julian felt frozen on the spot. He felt his heart hammering in his chest in panic.

It had been so long since he had been in a room with this many people in it.

A girl began to walk towards him. She was tall, slim, with big dark eyes and a smile plastered on her face. Julian was terrified of her almost instantly.  
Up close, he could see that she had a chain of gold under her standard black shirt.

“You must be new?” Her voice had the slightest hint of an accent behind it, and it was soft, not at all like he expected. He nodded, knowing his voice would crack and betray him if he spoke aloud.

“Well, then, I’ll show you how the dining area works.” She grabbed Julian by the sleeve and sat him down at a place that was near where she had been previously. There was also a boy with a shock of red hair, who was smiling at Julian as well. It was the type of smile that made Julian think this boy was looking right into the depths of his soul, and knew all his secrets. It almost made him freeze up again, he was that terrified of what this strange boy could see in him.

“Don't mind Cameron," the girl told him, forcing his attention back to her. "See where I’m pointing?”

  
“The bench with the plates on it, she means.” The boy- Cameron- added.

“Yeah, see it?” Julian nodded. It was long, and was half-full of metal plates with things on them that Julian couldn’t identify. “It’s as simple as going up there and grabbing one. You can do that, right?”

“Cris, I’m almost sure he gets it," Cameron interrupted impatiently. "Now let him go grab a plate. He looks as though he hasn’t eaten in years.” Julian wasn’t sure whether to be grateful that Cameron had given him a chance to get food, or insulted about what he had said about him.

“I know, Cameron. But he wouldn’t have known what to do if I didn’t show him. I’ll go grab it today, though. The poor thing looks exhausted.” With that, the girl stalked off, presumably to go get Julian food.

On any other occasion, he would have refused to get someone to help, but he was worried that everyone would continue staring at him if he stood again.  
“What’s your name?” Cameron asked. Julian could see that he was tall, and muscular. He had warm brown eyes, and a splatter of freckles across his face.  
“Jules," he answered flatly.

“Cameron." He extended his hand. Julian shook it. "I was starting to think you didn’t speak, it’s a relief you do. It’d be nice to have another voice to listen to besides Cristina’s.” Once again, Julian wasn’t sure whether Cameron was being friendly or snarky. “Say- have I ever seen you before? Something about you is awfully familiar.”

Before Julian had a chance to respond, Cristina came back, balancing a tray on her hip. She set it down in front of him, but he didn’t even look at what it was, before mumbling a quick thanks, and digging into the contents of his plate with the spoon he had been provided.

“Woah, dude," Cameron commented. "I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so excited to eat the food that’s served here.”

Julian barely acknowledged the other boy, too focused on the first warm meal he had eaten in such a long time. He didn't pay attention to the taste. He didn't pay attention to anything at all, except for his filling stomach and that constant, ever-present thought. I won't have to be alone anymore.

When he had finished it all off, he looked back up at the other two around him, and gave a quick apologetic smile.

“That’s okay, Jules,” Cameron said. “We get that you were hungry. I mean, you looked hungry.”

Cristina had taken the seat next to Cameron again, and was absentmindedly playing with the chain around her neck.

“Can I ask some questions?” Julian asked. Cortana hadn’t been the type that seemed as though she wanted to answer questions, but Cristina and Cameron acted friendly enough that they seemed like they would.

“Of course, ask away. What do you need to know?”

“What’s actually going on? Where is this place? And why are there so many people here?”

“That’s a lot of questions.” Cristina took a deep breath before starting. “Well, what’s going on is probably the hardest question. You see, no one really knows what’s going on, all we know is that we want to change the way the world is, and this seems like the way to do it. You’d probably know what happened with the invasion about a year ago, I mean, everyone has heard of it. They came in-“

“They?” Julian quickly interrupted. “Who are they?”

“One of the neighbouring countries, I never really got that detail. Anyway, they obliterated anyone who got in their way. There were so many of them when they came, and we were unprepared, had no hope, etcetera. So now they rule. They’re the type of government who are awful and cruel to the people around them. And we all plan on taking them down. Does that answer the ‘what question?’”

Jules nodded again, eager to hear the rest of this story.

“Alright, as for where we are, you know that forest that no one dared enter, because as kids we were all told it was too dangerous? We’re right in the middle of it. And everyone here has escaped the central town, and is looking to fight for what they believe in. That, and out leader does some clever recruiting.” She nudged Cameron in the ribs affectionately. Cameron smirked at her before standing up and taking everyone’s trays away. “Do you get it now, Jules?”

“Sort of. Well, not really. But I’m sure I will eventually.”

“I’d tell you more, but I fear that it would be a lot to try and understand in one day. Perhaps tomorrow?” She looked at in in the eye as she asked, more like she was demanding it.

“Yes, tomorrow sounds fantastic.” Jules stopped for a moment, unsure of what to say. “Can I ask two more questions?”

“Of course, buddy. Cris will be happy to answer them in lots of detail.” Cameron said, coming back towards them. No one was staring at him anymore, and it was a great relief. Cristina ignored his comment.

“I’ll start with the first one-“'

“That’s a very good place to start.”

“Cameron, let the boy speak. What’s the question, Jules?”

“Who is Cortana? Where did she come from? Why is she doing this? And why does she wear a mask?”

Cristina seemed to hesitate before answering any of Julian’s questions, as though she were trying to find a way to answer them without giving away any unnecessary information.

“Well, she’s the leader of this rebellion. No one knows much about her, we all just presume something bad happened to her at some point, that’s why she’s so dedicated to this. And I guess the mask is to hide her identity. I mean, no one knows her well enough to ask.”

“Thanks,” Julian said, even more confused about the masked woman than ever before. “Last question, I promise: where’s the courtyard?” In all his daze, Julian had forgotten that he was supposed to be meeting Cortana as soon as he could. She didn’t seem like the type of person you’d want to keep waiting.

“How about Cam and I show you instead? I don’t think either of us has anything scheduled for the afternoon block?” She looked at Cameron for confirmation, and he provided it by nothing.

“Thank you so much, are you sure?”

“Of course we’re sure, Jules. It isn’t far away, anyway. And besides, what are friends for?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After meeting up with Cortana again, Julian can't seem to hold his tongue and argues. Then more stuff happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, this is probably the last filler chapter before I get into the exciting stuff.

"It took you long enough to get here," Cortana said, standing in the large room that Julian had been directed to by Cristina and Cameron. He had just entered and was looking around at the huge room with a wooden floor, and tall metal walls. He had always wondered why everything in the place seemed to be made of metals.

"I had to get help! Did you expect me to find this place all by myself? This is all very new to me." Julian crossed his arms over his chest in defence.

"Of course. You chose good company, might I add. Cristina and Cameron are both good people."

"You know them?" Julian couldn't keep the look if surprise off his face. He didn't think Cortana could possibly know everyone's names, there had been so many people that he had seen here.

"I know everyone, little prince. Especially after the background checks I run on people before I officially recruit them."

Once again, Julian found himself in awe of how dedicated Cortana was to her rebellion. How much time could it have taken for one person to read at least 700 people's files?

He shook his head, trying to bring himself back to what was important. "Have you found out where my family is yet?"

"Patience is a virtue, little prince. I thought we were going to get you looked at by a doctor before we did anything else. You will be no good to your family if you are injured or ill."

"If we wait any longer, it could mean their lives or deaths. And besides, I feel fine!" Jules gestured to himself with his left hand. His only goal at the current moment was to find his family, to make sure that they were all okay.

"It's precautionary, you have to be checked. After that, when you're clean, looked after, and fed, we can discuss your family. Now come, we're going to the infirmary." She walked away again, not giving him any time to try and argue. Julian groaned and followed her.

“Can you listen to me for once?” He asked, walking quickly in her trail. “I’m starting to feel sick and tired of you treating me like a child.”

“Isn’t that what you are?”

He couldn’t help but start scowling, and all of his beautiful features twisted. “No,” Julian said, “I’m not.”

“You act like one.” Her words were short, clipped, but they hurt more than Julian thought they would. And that only built up more rage inside of him.

“And what exactly makes you say that?” The coldness in his voice made her stop walking and turn to face him. He had gone from being soft and peaceful to rash and angry in the span of a few seconds, and Cortana found it fascinating.

“Perhaps it’s the way you get all defensive and angry when you don’t get your way.” Her arms were crossed over her chest, one foot tapping impatiently on the hardwood floor. “Sort of like a spoilt little prince.”

“Stop talking!” Julian shouted. “Please, just stop. I don’t care if I’m acting spoilt, and I definitely don’t care what you think of me, but I want to find my family, and I want to do it as soon as possible. Does wanting that make me sound spoilt?” Julian couldn’t tell if his shouting had made Cortana flinch because she wore a mask. “Maybe you’re the one that acts like a child! I mean, you always act so high and mighty-“

“You don’t know me.” Her voice was still cold, as though she had no emotions. “Don’t make any presumptions about me.”

“And you don’t know me.”

“On the contrary, I think I do. I know you better than you know me, anyway.” He could hear the tone of victory in her voice.

“Just take me to the bloody infirmary.” He mumbled, not knowing what else to say.

“Giving up so soon on our argument, little prince?”

A feeling almost like pride welled up inside of Julian, and he was going to make sure that it was reflected in his speech. “I realise how goddamn stubborn you are,” He started, “and that there’s no point in arguing with you if you’ll never change your viewpoint, even if you’re wrong. It was just slowing us down. And I want to find my family as soon as possible. Now let’s go. We don’t need to waste any more time on this.” Julian couldn’t help but plaster a smirk of satisfaction on his face.

“You know what? I’m starting to like you more and more.”

“Good, you should be. Now let’s go to this infirmary.”

-

When Julian emerged from the infirmary room, Cortana was leaning against a wall outside, twisting a sword around. When she saw Julian walking towards her, she stood up straighter, sheathing her sword again.

“What did they say?”

“Well, Doctor Loss said that there wasn’t too much wrong. I’m just a little underweight, but apparently if I eat 3 full meals a day, I’ll be fine. I have to go back in a week. There’s nothing she could do about the scar-“ Julian hesitated. He’d never had to mention the permanent marks on his torso to anyone ever. “Scarring, I’ll just have to get used to it.” His voice went quieter.

“All warriors have their scars, little prince. Some just have more than others.” She placed a gloved hand on his shoulder. “What do you say we go get you cleaned up, and then I’ll tell you what I’ve found out about your family?”

A small smile crossed Julian’s face. “Sounds like a plan, Cortana.”

\----

The warm water ran down Julian’s skin, surrounding him, giving him warmth. He sat, and let it soak him, taking away some of the stress and pressure he had been under over the last few days. He almost felt relaxed, as though the warm water had a soothing effect.

When he came out, there was another pair of black clothes and boots waiting for him. He slipped into them, feeling much more comfortable than before.

When he slipped back into the corridor, he saw Cortana waiting, like always. She was sitting on a metal bench, her elbows resting on her thighs.

“I’m starting to think that you don’t have anything to do besides wait for me in various places.” He said, grabbing her attention. The light caused her mask to appear to glow, the lights gleaming off of the silver.

“Look, there was a person under all that dirt. Nice to finally see you.”

“I can’t tell if you’re joking.” He sat down next to her, and she turned to face him, before looking down again, biting her lip. Julian could sense her nervousness, but he couldn't tell why. Cortana had never appeared to be the nervous type.

"I think we need to discuss your family now, Julian."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian gets more information than he truly wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ,,,,,,,a year later she comes back with a chapter. But I'm gonna get into this again!

Julian was numb.

There was no possible feeling that he could have had to the information he had just been told.

_His parents._

Eventually, he would feel his heart twist in his chest, causing him to cry out. He would feel nauseous. His body would reject the information with every fibre of its being. It was going to come close to killing him.

But for now, he was numb.

“Julian? Are you okay?” Cortana was still sitting next to him, hand reaching out to pat him on the back before he jerked away, jumping off the bench.

“I-I’m oka-“ But his voice was shaking too much to tell a convincing lie.

_His parents._

“Julian-“

“Just don’t say anything for a moment!” He shouted, followed by a small, whimpering “please”. She didn’t reply, a sign she understood.

_His parents._

He crouched on the floor, and wrapped his spindly arms around himself, the way he used to when he got upset as a child. He could feel the tears burning his eyes, but none fell. He felt the vicious shaking rack his fragile form, but no sob escaped.

_His parents._

_His parents._

_His parents were dead._

* * *

 

“He didn’t take it well,” Cristina was sitting across from Cortana, over a table just down the hallway to Julian’s room. He had asked to go back, the look of absolute heartbreak on his face.

“Who could take news like that well?” Cortana stared right into Cristina’s eyes. There was something unspoken there, that Cristina couldn’t pick up on.

“Did you tell him it was relatively quick and painless execution?”

“No, but I highly doubt that would have soothed him. I don’t think anything can soothe a grief that runs so deep.” Cortana sighed. She knew helping the little prince wasn’t going to be easy, but she never could have imagined the quick attachment she made to him.

“Family can. He has other family that’s alive. We know that.” Cristina was fiddling with the chain around her neck. Cortana never asked where it came from, but she knew it meant a lot to the other girl.

“And I’m going to get them back too. For the rebellion.” For Julian.

“Then what are we waiting for?”

Both girls fell into an uncomfortable silence as they heard a door from the other end of the hall slide open.

It was Julian. His hair was dishevelled, and eyes still red and puffy. But he had this look in his eyes that could only be described as fierce. It was a look that Cortana had seen in herself over the year.

“I want to find my siblings.”

* * *

 

On the walk to the conference room, Julian became increasingly nervous. What if something bad had happened to his siblings as well? What if they had been going through what he had gone through? Or worse?

As they entered, Cortana pulled out a few sheets of paper from the other end of the table, and took a seat on a metal chair. Julian and Cristina followed suit. Julian didn’t even bother asking where Cameron was.

“Here’s what we know-“ Cortana cleared her throat, but Julian instantly cut her off. She was propped up, elbow resting on the desk, holding up her masked-face.

“Start with Octavian. The youngest. Where’s he?” Julian was impatient. He needed his siblings, and he was willing to bet that they needed him too.

“I was going to get to that,” but Cortana wasn’t truly mad at him for interrupting. She knew how important this was to him. “We have special insider info that he, Drusilla and Tiberius are fine. In the castle, being watched over by a friend of mine.”

Tears welled up in Julian’s eyes. They were okay. “Your friend, he’s a good guy?”

“One of the best. Malcolm won’t let any harm come upon them. Besides, everyone thinks they’re too young to know anything anyway.”

“What about Livia? And Mark and Helen?” Julian’s voice quickened with each word. Why weren’t they there?

“This is where it gets a little more complicated, unfortunately.” Cortana drew in a breath, and turned to her next page. Julian could feel his own heart in his chest.

“Livia is, uh, missing in action.” It was the only time Cortana had ever hesitated with words.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means she _escaped_ , Jules.” Cristina interjected, her arms crossed over her chest. She had a soft smile on her face, still radiant.

“She left without Ty?” Julian couldn’t believe it. Livia would do anything for her twin, for her other half.

“She could probably assume that he was safe where he was.”

Julian’s head was spinning. Livia was somewhere out in the world, alone.

“What of Mark and Helen?” Julian wanted to be near his older siblings now more than ever.

Cortana and Cristina looked at each other in a way that made Julian uneasy.

“Tell me.”

“Well, Mark became some sort of peace offering to a different neighbouring country. While the ones who invaded were still in a settling period, they knew they’d be vulnerable if an attack came. So they traded your brother, in hope that they wouldn’t be attacked.”

Julian sunk down into his chair. There were only two neighbouring countries he could think of, and he knew neither of them would treat his brother with any kindness.

“But he’s still alive, right?”

“We don’t know.”

“He probably is. Why would they kill him?” Cortana and Cristina spoke at the same time.

“H-Helen?” He was almost too scared to ask what had become of the eldest.

“She got exiled, so we don’t know her whereabouts either.”

“Why would they exile her?”

“They’re traditional. They consider her an illegitimate child.” _They. The people Julian hated more than anything._

“What do we do from here?” Julian knew he was asking too many questions, but he was so desperate to know. He had to.

“We start with your older brother,” Cortana grinned at him. “I think that’s the easiest one to start with, don’t you?”

Julian couldn’t help but smiling too. These people, they were going to help him. Cortana was going to help him. He needed something to smile about, and if this wasn't it, then what was?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian embarks on the trip to find his family

“Snow is terrible, really.” Cristina moaned as she treaded along the path. She, Cortana and Julian were walking on foot, their boots making satisfying crunches in the snow. “Everything is cold and wet.”

If Cortana heard her complaining, she didn’t react. She just kept walking, with more purpose than Julian had seen even his father ever walk with. A shudder ran through his body at the thought of his father, and he had to blink back the tears in his eyes. He couldn’t break down again. He needed to be there for his siblings. He needed to rescue them.

“Are we close? It’s getting dark.” Cristina’s voice echoed in the empty space around them.

Cortana sighed. “Not close enough. We might need to set up camp for the night.” Julian could hear the disdain in her voice. But he was appreciative. After all, they were doing all of this for him.

Cristina stopped walking in her tracks, and dropped her pack to the side, against an old pine tree. “Then this is as better spot as any, right?” She smirked at them before settling down and grabbing a large woven blanket from her pack. “You’ve got one of these too,” she said to Julian. “I packed your pack.”

He was almost taken aback by the gesture. This person was essentially a stranger, and yet she was helping him. As was Cortana, and Cameron, and everyone else he had met at the base. “Thank you.” He wished he had more words to describe how grateful he was.

“I’ll take watch, then. You never know what sort of people would be out here at night.” Cortana added, sitting with her back against the tree. Her mask was jarringly harsh against the white snow around.

“Wake me in a few hours?” Cristina asked, wrapping her blanket around her. “And then I’ll wake Jules a few hours after that.”

Julian slumped down, feeling the tiredness wash over his body. It had been a long day. “Sounds like a plan.” And he closed his eyes and let sleep take him for the night.

* * *

 

Julian knew it had been more than a few hours when he woke up. It was now pitch black around, and he could just make out his surroundings. Cristina was a few metres away, still wrapped in her blanket as though it were a cocoon. And Cortana was still sitting against the tree, sword between her legs and eyes on Julian.

“Why haven’t you woken anyone else yet?” He mumbled. It was definitely time to.

“Because Cristina shouldn’t have to keep watch, considering she’s done us a great favour by coming, and you need the rest.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He didn’t wish to be treated like he was lesser.

“It means that going from not moving for a year, so a sudden cross-border trip must be exhausting, little prince. I know I’d be tired if I were in your shoes, and I’m honestly surprised you’re doing as well as you are.” She spoke very matter-of-factly. She did have a point, but Julian wasn’t going to say exactly how tired and aching he was. He had to keep his priorities straight. His siblings, not himself.

“I’m taking that as a compliment.” And he knew she had a smile under her mask.

Julian sat up and pulled his blanket around himself. “Aren’t you cold?”

Before she could even answer, Julian stood up and sat beside her, draping the blanket over both of them. He didn’t care if that was a more personal gesture than the level they were at, and he didn’t care if she ridiculed him for it.

But she didn’t.

“Thank you.” She seemed to hesitate before speaking again, something Julian wasn’t used to. “Are you sure you’re holding up okay?”

Julian shifted uncomfortably. “I guess. I mean, I’ve been better, of course. But the thought of getting my siblings back? That means more to me than anything I’m feeling.”

“You’re honourable.” Julian almost felt content. Not that he needed Cortana’s approval for his cause anyway.

“You should go back to sleep.”

“I don’t want to.” _I’d rather stay awake and talk to you._

And there they sat in the woods together, in a comfortable silence, watching the orange sun rise behind the trees in the distance.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a short filler chapter,,,,but the good stuff is coming! Feel free to message me @keiththepaladin on Tumblr!


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